it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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