I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
