yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
