Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
