so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
