I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
