he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
