No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize