Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
