READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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