We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
