The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
