Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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