I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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