i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
