no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
