I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
