Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
