a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
