It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
