Duck Duck Cougar?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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