I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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