I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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