Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize