Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
