the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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