I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
