Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
