Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
