glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So squirting runs in the family.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
