So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
