I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize