We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
