Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
