I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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