I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
