I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
