i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
