Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
