hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
