did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
