Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's never too late to be topless.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
