Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
