Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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