if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
