i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize