My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Green mimosas i think yes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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