question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
