OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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