I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
