I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
