She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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