I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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