So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
