Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think a kid would responsible me up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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