Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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