i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
