apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
