I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
