So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
