Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
