That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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