ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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