when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize