i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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